Two teenage boys (from a previous relationship) and 16 years of birth control later, my partner and I decided it was time for us to expand our family.
Being 38 years old and 6 months of trying without success, I needed some re-assurance.
So, I did what anyone would do - I requested a psychic fertility reading!
“October is when you will get your big fat positive” - she said and she was right, we did!
We were over the moon. We told close family who were desperate for grandchildren, so this was very welcomed news for them too!
Sadly, one day before our baby was 10 weeks in womb, the little soul left us, in what felt like a very cruel way. Moments after clinking our (non-alcoholic) Champaign glasses on a Gondola ride, I felt the unmistakable ‘gush’. I knew I was miscarrying. Blood pooled in my seat and streamed down my legs, collecting in my shoes.
Incredible sadness overcame me and at the same time, I was overwhelmed with shame.
I was miscarrying on a gondola that I knew was booked for another “romantic ride”, right after ours. I was ashamed that my blood had stained the sheepskin rug we sat on. I was embarrassed that sanitary liners were not enough to contain the blood loss and I feared people would think less of me for ‘bleeding in public’.
This was one of the lowest moments of my life and was only the start of some of the hardest times to come.
I came to understand that the deep shame I felt had roots from the past and that it was time I faced those roots and changed my mindset about a lot of things. It’s from then, that my ‘fools’ journey’ really began. be posting loads of engaging content, so be sure to keep your blog organized with Categories that also allow visitors to explore more of what interests them.
So how can you find the true roots of your feelings and start to process them?
Remember, you are not your thoughts, thoughts are not facts, they are simply your mind creating a tangible identifier for feelings. Explore what feelings are coming up for you.
Ask yourself what you need to do to release the feelings associated with past experiences.
Focus on the here and now, the present really is a gift!
Pop a comment in the feedback section below to let me know what feelings you’ve realised are associated with certain thoughts!
Contact me for a one-on-one support session to explore this in more detail!
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